Harry Wombat
Revised Letter
Samford and Sons Mr. Useless Air Breather John Doe 1 — 10
I have been forwarded a letter you incorrectly addressed to Bernard Carroll. You will find said letter attached to this correspondence and marked RETURNED WITH CAUSE — WRONG PARTY.
You are hereby instructed that all correspondence relating to invoice # 123455 must be addressed exactly as follows:
Sole Authorized Administrator for: Harry Nosed Wombat AT: 123 Someplace Street AT: Buttfuck, Ontario Non Domestic - Outside Canada
Furthermore, any and all correspondence which is not addressed as indicated above, will be deemed insufficient to address the matter and will also be returned with cause.
We recognize that you may have a contract with Tom Kerekes. Please note for the record that you do not have a contract with Bernard Carroll, or me. We are, however, willing to offer you the opportunity to become a party in the above referenced matter as we welcome any and all opportunities to add additional parties.
You are hereby instructed that failing a signed affirmation expressing your wish to accept the above offer, any further communication concerning this matter and or, correspondence directed to either Bernard Carroll, and, or, myself, will be deemed to indicate your agreement to retain us to address the matter and will additionally be deemed to indicate your agreement to be billed as follows:
Receipt of, and, or, response to a letter: $5,000.00 CDN Receipt of and, or, response to a Telephone Call: $2,000.00 CDN Receipt of and, or, response to a Phone Message: $2,000.00 CDN Receipt of a court action: $25,000.00 CDN
I look forward to doing business with you, should you be so inclined, and, I trust the above clarifies both our position, and, the terms of our offers to contract with you.
Sincerely,
Sole Authorised Administrator for: Harry Nosed Wombat WITHOUT PREJUDICE ALL RIGHTS RESERVED NOTICE TO AGENT IS NOTICE TO PRINCIPAL AND NOTICE TO PRINCIPAL IS NOTICE TO AGENT