Why don't you take all your "money" out of the bank and keep it under your mattress? It will be safest there. You can always buy bitcoins or at worst a prepaid card to do "transactions". Don't you be feeding the beast too! :)
Printed copy · Anthology Volume 3, page 580Printed copy from The Tender For Law Anthology, Volume 3, page 580 (printed 13 June 2014). Added by this site; not part of the Facebook export.